I just turned 49 but at least my brain is stuck at 20. I have two daughters (20 & 17), and when friends call and ask my wife how the kids are doing, she’ll say, “You mean the three of them?” I remember not that long ago when we had a big snow late at night and I woke the girls up at 11:30 and said, “Let’s go play in the snow!” They still ask dad never to grow up….
I got this from a friend and it made me laugh BEFORE 9:00 (rare). Enjoy!
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
“How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied.
“Two years older than me”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
“And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?” the reporter asked.
She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor’s permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
“Wal-Mart?” the preacher exclaimed.
“Why Wal-Mart?”
“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week”
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
By: Catherine Barth on November 18, 2007 