From a recent email about Tech Support stories:
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…
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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.
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Customer: I have problems printing in red.. Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.
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Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: ! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah… that one does work.
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer: I can’t get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five dots.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’
